Autism vs. Human-ism

I have a problem with figuring out when I am being autistic and when I am just being human. The first thing that comes to mind is that I often become stuck unable to see some one else’s feelings. It’s not that I don’t want to understand their emotions, it’s just that I can’t. My wife says it makes me good at logical debate but very bad at real life discussions. I can see that but I struggle to understand how others can’t remove their emotions from a political discussion (for example) when the benefits are so extreme.

Another thing is the world around me. I walked past a sink full of dirty dishes yesterday, didn’t even think about them until I heard my wife putting them in the dish washer. Had I been more observant and thoughtful she would have been saved having to do that since she had just taken our youngest son to work and folded the laundry that day. She didn’t complain and even chatted pleasantly with me while doing it. How I wish I was more like her, having a great attitude while taking care of our home and family. Is this just being typical man or is my autism creating a blind spot for me?

Doing Good.

This Colin Kaepernick spectacle has taken on a life of its own and it isn’t a useful life.  People have forgotten why he knelt during the national anthem and now it’s about respect for our flag and country.  It shows that sticking to your guns isn’t always a wise or even good choice.  The protest failed.

If he, once he was forced to face the change in how his actions were affecting the country, had mad a public announcement stating what he was attempting to do and then apologized and stated he would not kneel again then stated how he would go forward and work toward his goal, it would have greatly benefited his cause.  I don’t know how I would react when in this situation but I hope I would be rational enough to put my goals ahead of my pride.

Work

I have a new job.  This is very stressful since change is hard for me.  I don’t worry about the work but I do worry about all the new people and processes.  I want to excel and will do my best but I still have fear.

It’s a large amount of stress added to a stressful situation and I can either adapt or break.  I hope I can adapt before the breaking point comes.

Rejection

I don’t know how anyone else handles rejection internally but I often feel it’s a personal attack on my choices and character.  I have been rejected by many companies where I applied for a job and each time I feel more inadequate.  I try to think positively but I have been out of work for a long time and that takes its toll.

I am not sure I can understand anyone else experience but I hope no one feels this way.

I however have faith that something great is coming, I just have to understand and control my negative feelings.